Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Change of heart.

I had never thought change would be so hard, because I wanted it so much. The past month has been hard for me to comprehend all that becoming a wife, moving to CA and working a real job will take. In my visit to CA, I felt vulnerable, scared, and unsure. I think I had every reason to feel that way, but change is a process, and I have moved away from that fear.
I am no longer scared of moving to a new place. I was having a difficult time realizing all that I would have to let go with moving away from my surroundings of where I have learned so much from my family, friends, and community. My friends and family are always a phone call away, and I will still continue to learn from them. But change is happening in my life for a reason, in order for me to grow. A lot of change is happening at once, and I believe God has a plan for me to flourish and fly. God has taught me so much, and through the loving hearts of my friends. 
I have been given peace learning and knowing God is our home, so where ever we are, God completes us, no matter how different or uncomfortable our surroundings can be. It is Him who I want to choose each day, and not myself. I want to choose to share my life with God, because who am I not to? God has lifted me up this week, and I have felt this pour of passion and absolute need to serve Him daily. 
Though each day is a battle, I want to push my negativity aside, and say 'today is for Your Glory.'
I will learn new things from new people, and a new place, by investing in each others lives. I will connect with a new community and be apart of that community, offering what I have to give. I will become more independent as I am learning to be a responsible and assertive decision maker and adult.
I'm looking forward to becoming a committed wife and driven woman. I will miss all of my family and friends, and the loveliness they all have in their eyes.

Glory be to God.
Love & Peace,

1 comment:

sleepy fawn said...

oohhhh I know exactly how you feel!
I moved away from my home, started college, and got married all at the same time. It was really hard but of course getting married and knowing it was a part of God's plan helped me not feel so lonely.
You're such a lovely girl, I'm sure it will all turn out wonderful...especially in CA! Warm weather!
But, so far from Pineapple Whip haha.