Thursday, June 17, 2010

Captivity will fall, when we learn to Trust and Live by His Freedom.

Sometimes I don't think I realize what God is teaching me until it comes out of my mouth in conversation.
I think it's part of the connection for me, in that vocalizing it draws it from my heart, into something right in front of my face.
I have had such a strong desire, as I have grown into a woman, to be a prayer warrior. I know that if I have this desire to share the gentleness of my heart God has given me, then why not take the step forward? I have times when I am uncomfortable praying out loud with others, more when there's a group of people I'm still getting to know. I know my self consciousness holds me back into fully freeing what God is teaching me, or feeling safe. It is like my desire to be a strong praying woman of God is written in the palms of my hands, but they are clinched tight, or neatly folded in my lap.
I know that this desire will see me through. I have faith God has been speaking to me, and has placed other strong women of Christ in my life for the examples I need. I know that if I learn to trust Him in this I could glorify Him, I could see more answered prayers, and not out of a selfish ambition. 
I spoke of this tonight after our last group with the young marrieds, I could feel the depth of the desire pouring out in my tears, and I have so much faith that God has been working in me from the moment I stepped into Santa Barbara. He has given Matt and I a foundation to be One with Him, away from our family, and learn of how we can Glorify Him in our marriage. Marriage is so special, and was designed so perfectly in God's eyes. If only the many broken marriages could all follow His wisdom,humbleness and see the goodness He has in store for them. My heart breaks and longs to tell all the nations, the Love He has for them.
I am overwhelmed with emotion, stress, fatigue, but yet I feel exuberant with the Love God has so much of for us.  
I am ready for the changes God has planned for us. The inner changes, that have never seemed to stop, as He is always working. I'm ready to be a prayer warrior, to build others up in Christ, and to humble myself more and more, all for the Glory of Christ.

With Utmost Love,

"but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

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